The teleclass leader for this session was Alexia Michiels who was born in Belgium but lives in Shanghai. I acknowledge her skills as a leader.. She did an excellent class… One of the things that I like about doing this programme with ICA is that I have been fortunate to meet people who are knowledgeable and skilled and have the ability to pass on their skills to others.
We continued our session on Effective Feedback. It is interesting to learn that coaches have to find a way to be objective when dealing with clients. One way of being objective is to “center” oneself like one would do in yoga. The breathing exercises and the clearing of one’s mind of the issues that would have been dealt with by another client is very effective.
Role-Plays was also discussed. Role-play is a very effective technique in providing feedback to someone. It is used when a someone is unsure on how to have a conversation with another person. This I find is very effective when it comes to dealing with kids.
The advantages of Role-play are as follows:
- an opportunity for the adult/child to face their worst fear
- the adult/child may come to realize that their worst fear may not be so bad after all
- the adult/child will learn to manage the problem rather than run away from it – Successful people tend to manage problems
Feedback is not based on opinion nor beliefs but rather on the moment of observation. There is also the skill of active listening which helps a person to listen to the other individual’s wishes, desires and possibilities. Isn’t this absolutely amazing? It is a pity that this important skill is not taught in schools. Teaching children to actively listen to one another, their parents and teachers. Then as adults they would already have the skill to foster better relations in the workplace, personal relationships, family life etc.
The difference between feedback and active listening is that:
- Feedback is simply telling someone what has been observed.
- Active Listening is a process of checking in with the person on what is being heard correctly or not.
I always wondered why my sister who is an IBMer would always say: ‘ so what I am hearing you say……’ or at bptt, our team leaders would say: ‘ we had a conversation the other day ……’. They were using the active listening skill.
Criticism is not communicating effectively and one should try their best to be mindful of that when trying to empower a person through feedback.
Thought for the day: “Listening requires the willingness to understand what is being said along with feeling the emotion that is being expressed by the client. When this takes place, listening is complete and real.” – ICA