The Rori Raye Commitment Blueprint is really about getting yourself together. Leana, a client of Rori, initially thought it was going to be a lot about how to get your man to notice you… and how to get him to commit. And it is, but in the way that you’re committing to yourself first. Once you commit to yourself, you open up the possibilities for him to actually be able to be committed to you as opposed to you running and chasing after him. She learnt that loving herself is actually what caused him to love her even more – a huge surprise.
I would like to share an email that I received from Rori entitled “How to Stop Obsessing over any man…”
If you’re caught up in a man, finding yourself thinking about him all the time and forgetting about the most important person in your life – YOU – and want some help to quickly get you over the obsessive thinking and back on track in the relationship, you’ll want to try out Rori’s Commitment Blueprint program.
She has a special section in it where she deals with jealousy and obsession, and how you can USE even those intense, unpleasant feelings to turn your self-esteem and your relationship around.
Obsession is when you can’t eat, sleep, or look at a telephone without thinking about him. Where you spend most of your time trying to figure out what went wrong or why he hasn’t called, or why he’s all of a sudden so distant?
Here’s a Tool to help you get started:
Even if you’ve never had a full-blown obsession with a man, where you can barely imagine living without him; always living in fear of him breaking up with you; running your schedule around him; making your plans around him; watching what you say or didn’t say around him; wanting to make him happy and make him love you so much that you forgot how to just be yourself; thought his moods were your fault; thought when he withdrew that what you needed to do was be “nicer” and “more understanding?
Well, the first thing to do that will work the fastest to reduce the importance of a man in your life (even if he’s THE most important thing – Rori suggest that you don’t want to allow him to become the ONLY important thing) is to stop doing all of the above.
That means – no scheduling around him, no making plans around him, no watching what you say and don’t say, no trying to make him happy or make him love you, no “nice” and no “understanding” when something he does or doesn’t do makes YOU unhappy.
The second thing is to get something else IMPORTANT into your life. And that would be YOU.
Here’s how it works:
You look out a window and imagine what it is that you love (aside from him). Imagine the love in your heart, all that energy and sweetness and passion, going out the window to that thing you love – it might be painting, or the beach, or giving to those less fortunate, or helping people in your special, unique way.
Rori calls this Tool OUT THE WINDOW. These two steps sound easy, and they are, if you’re willing. Because before you can make any kind of change, you have to want to. And it’s hard to want something you’ve never seen or done before (except with men you don’t care about). It’s hard to believe, if you’ve never seen it work, that it WILL work. It works but if it does not work, you won’t be the one woman it doesn’t work for.
But, no matter how unusual you believe you are, no matter how low your self-esteem, no matter how scattered your thoughts or how negative you feel right at this moment, it will work.
If you’re with a man right now and feeling frustrated that he isn’t moving forward to a real commitment, you’ll get so much help – specific, detailed Tools and a clear understanding of what’s going on with him and your relationship – from Rori’s Commitment Blueprint program.
For now, let’s work with this Out The Window Tool to help you with obsession:
As soon as you stop doing all the man-pleasing behaviors you’ve been doing, you’ll see two things happen:
*** One, your man, or the man emailing you, or the man you’re meeting for a first date at a coffee shop, will sit up and notice that YOU’RE A VERY COOL GIRL.
He’ll notice you’re cool, because you’ll probably be the first woman he’s met who doesn’t need to think about how HE’S doing before she thinks about how SHE’S doing! He’ll notice that there’s absolutely no pressure in being with you. He’ll notice that you trust yourself enough to be yourself instead of wondering and caring what he thinks about you. He’ll notice that you TRUST HIM enough to be yourself instead of wondering and caring what he thinks about you. And it’ll be such a relief, such a powerful, mysteriously sexy thing for him to be with a woman who puts herself first, he’ll be like a kid in a toy store, and you’re the best toy. You’ll see his energy come toward you in a different way than you’re used to.
Instead of working hard to get his interest, or working at being smart, clever, charming and appealing, you’ll be shocked to notice he just thinks YOU ARE smart, clever, charming, appealing, and totally sexy. You lean back, and he leans forward. And that’s only step one.
***Step two, OUT THE WINDOW lets you come alive with the passion you feel for YOUR OWN interests.
He gets to be around while you share your deepest feelings about small things – like the weather, the restaurant atmosphere, the trip you took last year – and almost immediately, he starts to feel that “Here’s a woman with EMOTIONAL DEPTH. She GETS me!” And he leans in toward you. And he listens to you. And he asks questions. And then when you gently toss the ball back to him with a “And how ’bout you?” He feels so comfortable with you, he tells you everything.
Because you’re so not caring about impressing him with how you understand and hear everything he says (if it’s interesting, right?) you’re able to just lean back and listen, and BE THERE with him. He’s so unused to any woman JUST BEING, instead of always doing around him all the time, you completely capture his attention, his energy, his heart. And this is how it works.
Even with just this bit of information, you can completely turn around a relationship you’re already in, or completely change your love life. These two steps will change your mind set – the way you think about being in a relationship and what you have to do to keep it going.