My husband and I visited Paprika on May 10, where I met three men who are in their early 50s. Out of the three of them, only one was still married, so I decided to broach the topic of the “90-day rule for women” with them just to get their opinion. When I mentioned the concept to them, the response in a nutshell was—“What man waiting 90 days?”
During the conversation of the evening, I learnt of a phrase that was used long ago—I, in all of my 50 years, have never heard of this phrase used to refer to easy girls/grown women—a clothes pin. I asked my husband, who is older than I am, if he had ever heard of this phrase and he said “yes, it is a phrase used to describe a woman who was easy among the boys in my younger days.”
Well, I was flabbergasted. It made even more sense to me now, why it is that Steve Harvey’s book—Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man—was critical for women to read and pick sense out of nonsense.
After reading part one of this article, the question women may be asking is—what am I supposed to do during the 90 days before giving the man access to my benefits? First of all ladies, you have to use the period wisely. Remember, this is a probationary period and you need to be putting the guy through his paces. I remember my father saying to me years ago—“bring the guy home and put him to “scrub” bench in the gallery. I will check the guy out for you. By the end of the three visits, I will tell you if he is worth your efforts.”
Here are 13 questions that you need to ask yourself:
• Does he come to take you out when he says that he is going to come?
• Does he call when he’s going to be late?
• Does he like and care about your friends, family or children?
• Does he express his joy when he is in your presence?
• Is this really a man with whom you can see yourself, in a committed relationship?
• Do you see signs that make your intuition kick in?—listen to your intuition
• Have you been invited over to his house/apartment?
• How come you only have his cell phone number?
• Does he answer his cell phone when you are in the room with him?
• Does he take hushed calls away from you?
• Does he tell you that he is dating other women or somehow you suspect that he is?
• How does he speak to you?—take note of his words and tone of voice
• Does he exhibit signs of physical abuse?
The above are tendencies that you will not see in a man you are dating for less than 90 days because guess what? The guy who is dating you just to get the benefits up front, is going to be on his best behavior in the beginning, specifically so he can make you think he’s worthy. But just as sure as time is going to come and go, he’ll eventually show his true nature.
It is your right to want what you want and to get it. Put yourself first and get the respect that you deserve. If you have respect for yourself, you will command that respect from a man. Steve Harvey indicates that one of the mind tricks that men have been playing on women, is to convince them that waiting doesn’t matter, that giving benefits early and quickly is the way to go.
Men love and want to enjoy the benefits so much that they will try to get them by any means necessary. But guess what? The right man will wait and if he does not, then he is not someone who you will want around you—someone who will sleep with you without any obligation to you or consideration of your wants, needs and emotional well-being.
Women have the power to make men wait—don’t give up that power. Keep it. You only give up that power when the man has earned it and he is going to respect it and do something with it. With that information coming from a man, women need to pay attention.